Chuck's World Journal: Chapter 12 - Chiang Mai, Thailand

Arrival

I'd been looking forward to Chiang Mai since before I arrived in Thailand. It has a reputation for being good for tourists and still authentically Thai. I needed a break from the insanity of Bangkok and the "rustic" living and eating options in Ayuthaya and Kanchanaburri. Eating Thai food for every meal gets old, so I hadn't been eating as much as usual. In order to get up there I went back to Bangkok, then took a night train to wake up in the morning. The train ride wasn't easy because I was a little fevery and worn out. In the morning, exhausted and hungry, the nicest thing I'd seen near the main gate of town was a classic American style breakfast joint that looked like a Denny's. It was the greatest thing I could ask for and I already felt myself on the mend. I filled my gut, sipped some coffee with the newspaper, and then set out to explore Chiang Mai.

This place also has a good amount of traffic, but much more manageable than Bangkok. The building seem to be much smaller so the sky isn't choked out. The air is cooler and slightly less smog. In the distance you can see tree covered mountains. My socks weren't blown off yet, but I keep an open mind and keep walking.

Here is a busy street in a market area. That bright orange guy walking down the street is a monk. They aren't like I had imagined (lines of monks chanting in unison as they weave their way through the street single file). Instead they just wander around like regular people. Monks are kind of like the old hippies that wander around America with flip flops and tired looking tye-dye outfits. They don't seem like their in a hurry and aren't too impressed by anything they see. The big difference being that Thai people respect monks a great deal. If a monk walks on a bus, Thai people will all jump up to offer their seat to the monk. When did you see someone do that for a hippie?

The temples in Chiang Mai are very impressive and well maintained. They have an extraordinary amount of hand crafted detail that doesn't come across in these pictures but can give you an idea.

Of course there is also a whole bunch of ancient Wats that are centuries old.

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Chiang Mai Nights

The nights in Chiang Mai are great. The local Thai women are so friendly and they just love talking to foreign men such as myself. They literally shout at you on the sidewalk from inside the bars. Interestingly, the bars are ALL filled with teenage Thai women and middle aged white men. How nice of those young ladies not to discriminate because of age, weight, or disgusting creepiness. If you haven't caught on yet, I'm talking about the sex business. There is almost NO nightlife whatsoever except for the hooker bars. Not even tourist girls out for the night. They must be hiding on the beaches down south. I don't know what is more depressing. Is it the old pathetic men who fly to the other side of the world so that a woman will smile at them? Or the young girls with plastic smiles and the willingness to...you know. Ok enough of that disturbing topic. I'd show you guys some pictures of the hooker bars but they were too pathetic. I also doubt some father of five from Kalamazoo would appreciate his picture being taken with a Thai hooker.

Luckily I ran into a Parisian I know from Ayuthaya who similarly wasn't cruising for hookers. When I first met Mathieu and we realized that I was American and he was French he goes: "that's fine, your President is an a--hole, my prime minister is an a--hole, we can hang out." My thoughts exactly.

So the nights in Chiang Mai were pretty simple. Throw back a few Singha, swap a few stories, and call it a night.

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The Eliminator

There are lots of adventurous day trips out of Chiang Mai such as rock climbing, rafting, elephant riding, etc. The one that appealed to me the most was mountain biking. I'm no expert, but thanks to Jeff back home I can manage a single-track and climb a few hills. There are bike routes all over the mountains outside Chiang Mai. For some villages these bike paths are their only connection to the outside world. Very pristine countryside and I was also looking for a workout. The choices of trips ranged in difficulty but were primarily easy downhill designed for tourists. With one exception, THE ELIMINATOR. The description said things like "very strenuous" yada yada. Although I didn't sign up for the Eliminator, on our way up to the mountains the guide sized up the group and asked if we wanted to step it up and go for the big one. Although I was the least experienced in the group, I am an American, so I was game. It was equal amounts uphill and downhill and about 40 kilometers long. After advanced mathematical formulas and statistical computer modeling I can accurately say that 40km is somewhere between 10 and 30 miles. Bring it on!

First we bounced around in the 4X4 Landcruiser up a mountain for about an hour.

The paths were empty dirt roads with barely a sign of life. There were only four of us in all so it was a quiet and nice as hell.

We stopped for lunch at this bridge and I managed to get some pictures. At this point were are a few hours in and i was feeling good. That's one of the guides next to me.

At one point we came to a tiny village of just a few shacks. The kids were looking at us like we were from mars. I love that look because it means I'm not in the usual tourist spots. In this picture you can see some villagers working together to widen the single path to a lane barely big enough for a truck to get through. Whadya know, there was a Starbucks executive above in a helicopter surveying the progress.

"How long is a kilometer again?"

The downhill strips like this one were fantastic. The trees and mountain views were all over the place, but I could only get a few pictures.

Finally I made it. My shirt was soaking in sweat, my legs ached, but I was happy. I defeated the Eliminator. We ended at this point at the river where apparently the building codes are nonexistent. One swift kick could put these houses in the river.

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Shopping 24/7

Whether you like it or not, shopping is the most common kind of activity in Chiang Mai. They have day-markets, night-markets, indoor and outdoor markets, megamalls and everything in between. Although I'm not much of a shopper these places were great for people watching and scoring some cheap handmade goods from the developing world (for pennies).

This guy was selling exactly the kind of bright craftsy stuff that my mom loves. Hey Ma: he's modeling your Christmas present. Not the kid, the hat. (The kid was too expensive)

This is a more classic Thailand mall. They are tightly packed stalls with clothing up top, random crap in the middle, and foodstuffs on the bottom. Instead of smelling the food from the food court in western-style malls, you smell raw meat of all kinds spread out on tables. Mmmmm, bloody.

Now this is more like it. The mega mall had 7 stories of everything you'd find in a mall in New Jersey. Could there be more than one heaven?

The kids get together and play computer and video games in big groups in the mall. It seems cool because at least there is some social interaction going on.

They also lock themselves in these Karoke booths and sing "Lollipop" by 50 Cent. Pretty hilarious.

This is another part of Thailand that I have to share. Gender roles are little blurred here. She-Boys (transvestites) are free to live their lifestyle in public without the shock and dirty looks they'd encounter in America. Considering Thailand is such an traditional culture, I found this surprising. I guess Buddhist cultural values are more tolerant of differences than the Christian values within America. I saw a community beauty contest where the contestants all had dresses, makeup and a tiara. One of the contestants was a guy. I wouldn't have necessarily voted for him, but I respect his right to be fabulous. In this next picture we see three She-Boys decked out in costumes that I can't really describe. This is the public entertainment for a big outside market where families and tourists have dinner. It seemed odd but also funny.

Check out the tourist in the bottom center who is trying not to look. He reminds me of exactly what my Dad would do in this situation. "Thailand! I wanted to go to the Grand Canyon!"

I had a small moment of culture shock once when I needed to use the public restroom. I walked in and stopped dead in my track. There was a woman applying lipstick in front of the mirror. I quickly retreated out of the bathroom, thinking that I'd accidentally walked into the ladies room. I checked the sign on the door and it was, in fact, a mens room. It took a few minutes of confusion, but I eventually realized that the woman I'd seen was actually a lady-boy. They've gotta pee somewhere.